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A different approach to anxiety, self-doubt, procrastination, perfectionism and the blocks that can hold you back.
You may know exactly what you want to do. You may even know that you are capable of doing it. Yet anxiety, self-doubt, avoidance or an automatic response seems to take over when it matters.
Perhaps you keep putting off something that is important to you. You struggle to speak confidently in meetings or presentations. You hold back from opportunities you would like to take. Or a previous setback has affected your confidence far more, and for far longer, than you expected.
Sometimes the difficulty goes deeper than motivation, mindset or a lack of strategy.
EMDR-informed coaching combines the forward-looking focus of coaching psychology with an understanding of how previous experiences, beliefs and emotional responses can continue to affect us in the present. Where appropriate, EMDR therapy can also be incorporated into our work.
What is EMDR-informed coaching?
EMDR-informed coaching is an integrated approach for people who want to make a change or achieve something, but find that anxiety, self-doubt, avoidance, limiting beliefs or other emotional blocks are making it difficult to move forward.
Coaching gives us a clear focus on what you want to be different. EMDR adds another dimension by helping us consider whether and how past experiences may be contributing to the way you respond now.
This means we can work both with where you want to go and, when necessary, what may be preventing you from getting there.
EMDR is best known as a psychological therapy used to treat trauma. However, the principles behind EMDR can also be applied to difficulties involving confidence, performance and beliefs about ourselves.
When knowing what to do isn’t enough
Many difficulties respond well to conventional coaching. Clarifying your goals, exploring your options, developing new strategies and being supported to take action may be exactly what you need.
But sometimes there is a frustrating gap between what you know and how you actually respond.
You might know rationally that:
- you are capable of giving the presentation, but become overwhelmed when you stand up to speak
- you have the experience required for a more senior role, but cannot bring yourself to apply
- your work does not need to be perfect, yet you still spend far too long trying to get it right
- making a mistake would not be catastrophic, but your fear of getting things wrong stops you taking risks
- one unsuccessful interview does not define your ability, yet the next interview brings back the same anxiety
- other people do not expect you to have all the answers, but you still feel as though you are about to be exposed as inadequate
These responses do not necessarily disappear simply because you understand that they are irrational or unhelpful.
Sometimes earlier experiences of criticism or humiliation have contributed to beliefs about ourselves, other people or what is likely to happen. A situation in the present can then activate some of the same emotions, physical sensations and expectations, even when our current circumstances are very different.
That is where an EMDR-informed approach can bring something different.
How does EMDR-informed coaching work?
The work is tailored to you rather than following a rigid formula, but there are several elements we are likely to explore.
1. Where do you want to go?
We start by exploring what you want to be different, what matters to you and what you would like to be able to do that currently feels difficult.
That might involve your career, confidence, performance, relationships, creativity, visibility, leadership or another area of personal or professional growth.
2. What is getting in the way?
Next, we become curious about the block itself.
We may also explore the beliefs associated with the difficulty, such as:
I’m not good enough.
I’ll get it wrong.
People will judge me.
I have to get this perfect.
I’m going to fail.
What happens when you try to move towards your goal? What thoughts appear? What do you feel emotionally and physically? What do you find yourself doing, or avoiding doing?
I’m not capable.
We can then consider where those responses may have come from and whether previous experiences are still influencing what happens now.
3. Do any earlier experiences need processing?
Sometimes simply understanding the pattern creates enough movement for coaching to continue.
At other times, we may identify an experience, or a collection of experiences, that still carries an emotional charge or seems closely connected with the present difficulty.
The relevant experience does not have to be a major trauma. A humiliating presentation, repeated criticism, a difficult relationship with a manager, being laughed at in class, an unsuccessful interview or another experience of failure or rejection can have a lasting effect on how we approach similar situations.
The purpose is not to spend unnecessary time analysing the past. We look backwards when doing so helps us move forwards.
However, where appropriate, and where we agree that it would be helpful, I can use EMDR therapy to process those experiences.
4. Build on your strengths and resources
EMDR-informed coaching is not only concerned with removing difficulties.
We also identify and strengthen the resources you already have, including previous experiences of coping, succeeding, taking risks, handling uncertainty or doing things you once thought you could not do.
This part of the work might include psychological resources, emotional regulation, confidence, self-efficacy and practical skills that support what you want to achieve.
5. Prepare for the future
EMDR integrates well with coaching, since both approaches can support preparation for future situations.
Using EMDR future-focused techniques, we can rehearse how you would like to respond in future situations, including how you might manage challenges, setbacks or uncertainty.
6. Put the change into practice
Ultimately, coaching is about what happens outside the coaching room.
We bring what you have discovered into real situations, review what happens and continue to refine your approach.
As old blocks become less powerful, the focus can increasingly shift towards what you want to create, develop or achieve.